The Gift of Reflection: A Birthday Tradition for Your Kids (That Money Can’t Buy)

What gift can you give your kids that doesn’t cost a dime but will have a lasting impact? We started writing a letter to our kids every year as a gift for their birthday, and it’s honestly one of the best things we’ve ever done (and probably the cheapest!). Here’s how you can start this priceless tradition too!

I came across a touching story about a dad who wrote a heartfelt birthday letter to his daughter. She found it years later and it became a cherished piece of their history.

This inspired me to start a similar tradition for our own kids—writing them a letter each year on their birthday until they turn 18. It’s a simple yet meaningful way to capture special moments as they grow. For those of us in corporate roles, you can think of it like an annual performance review but without any of the “needs improvement” info 😉

These letters focus purely on the positives: accomplishments, kind words from friends, family and teachers and any special moments from the year. It’s also an opportunity to share your thoughts about them — the little things you appreciate about them that may go unsaid during the chaos of everyday life.

When my daughter Mia started asking about her upcoming letter a month before her birthday, I knew this tradition meant something special to them.

Here are some simple steps to follow if you want to do something similar.

Step 1: Gather Your Letter “Ingredients”

I keep a dedicated folder on my computer throughout the year labeled ‘Birthday Letter Materials’, where I store memorable photos, accomplishments and quotes.

This organized approach can save a frantic search through digital photos at the last minute but it’s not necessary. You can easily sift through your phone to find what you need to pull something meaningful together!

Step 2: Compose Your Letter

Here’s how to put together a birthday letter that will become a treasured keepsake:

  • Photo Op: Pick a snapshot that captures your child’s essence over the past year—whether they’re scaling a jungle gym or perfecting the art of ice cream face paint.
  • Opening Act: Draft a short intro that highlights the year’s triumphs and trials, new fascinations and conquered fears.
  • Year in Bullets: Create a bulleted list of likes, laughs, achievements, favorite eats, and binge-worthy TV shows.
  • Captioned Photos: Add photos of standout moments from family trips, time with friends, pets, sports highlights etc. Include a brief caption so you won’t forget the “who, what, when” down the road.
  • Quote Corner: Include heartwarming notes from teachers or loved ones. Pro Tip: If you’re short on quotes, don’t be shy to ask around. People love being part of this! Especially Grandparents. 🙂
  • Parting Wisdom: End with an inspiring quote or a parental nugget of wisdom. Remember that it’s okay to admit you’re figuring out this parenting gig as you go. I think that was one of their favorite parts when we reflect on how we can do better.

Step 3: Presenting the Letter

The presentation isn’t fancy: we wrote the letter in Microsoft Word, printed the letter in color and delivered it in a nice envelope or folder on their birthday. We also saved a digital copy for safekeeping. The kids keep their letters in a binder or a keepsake box, creating a personal history book of sorts.

The best part — this won’t be published anywhere and your child won’t care if you are a great writer. The true value is in them hearing how special they are to you. It’s a fantastic way to celebrate each year of your child’s life and to provide them with a tangible connection to the gifts they bring to the world, viewed through your eyes.

While it does take some time and thought to put together, I’m glad we have these keepsakes to look back on — our little time capsules of sorts. If you would like a template or see an example, simply email hello@careerinsightstudio.com and I’m happy to share.

Do you have any other family traditions you recommend? Feel free to share in the comments below.

Thanks for reading!

Danielle Cullivan Signature

Danielle Cullivan

Career Insight Studio

Danielle Cullivan is a seasoned leader in tech with over 20 years of experience in Fortune 500 companies. She is also the creator of Career Insight Studio, a career and lifestyle blog dedicated to providing insights and new perspectives for working women. Danielle lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and high-school-aged son, and visits her college-age daughter as often as possible! 

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