Stuck in the Leadership Mud? How to Identify (and Bust) Your Hidden Blockers

Ever feel like you’re working harder than ever but still running in place? You aren’t alone. I’m diving into Muriel Wilkins’ new book called Leadership Unblocked to explore the seven “hidden blockers” that may be tripping us up. If you’re ready to ditch the burnout and finally realize your full potential, let’s get you unblocked.

We’ve all been there. You’re working harder than ever, your calendar is completely overscheduled with back-to-back meetings, and yet, you feel like you’re running in waist-deep mud. You’re talented, you’re experienced, so why does it feel like there’s an invisible hand limiting the results you want to achieve?

If you’ve ever listened to the Coaching Real Leaders podcast (a personal favorite of mine, produced in partnership with Harvard Business Review), you know Muriel Wilkins. She’s spent over 20 years coaching high-level executives, and she has a superpower: she can hear the “unspoken” obstacles in a leader’s story.

Her new book, Leadership Unblocked: Break Through the Beliefs That Limit Your Potential is essentially a masterclass in getting out of your own way. Here is why it’s a must-read for anyone looking to level up without burning out.

The Reality Check: Change is Mandatory, Growth is Optional

One of the most grounding points Muriel makes is that as leaders, difficulty is unavoidable. We love to think that if we just “optimize” enough, we can avoid conflict or finally manage that one “difficult” stakeholder who’s causing grief. Muriel gently (but firmly) bursts that bubble. We can’t control the chaos, but we can control our reaction to it.

The “unlock” isn’t about clearing your plate of challenges; it’s about recognizing the internal filters. The hidden blockers that dictate how you respond to those challenges.

The 7 Hidden Blockers: Which One Is Yours?

Muriel identifies seven specific beliefs that act like sand in the gears of your leadership. See if any of these feel a little too familiar:

1. I need to be involved: The belief that you must be part of every detail at every level.
2. I need it done now: The belief that you need results right away, no matter the cost to the team or the strategy.
3. I know I’m right: The belief that you—and only you—have the answers to the problem at hand.
4. I can’t make a mistake: The belief that your performance must be flawless and above reproach.
5. If I can do it, so can you: The belief that others’ performance must mirror yours to be acceptable.
6. I can’t say no: The belief that you must always step up to the plate when asked.
7. I don’t belong here: The classic Imposter Syndrome. The belief that you don’t fit in where you are or at your level.

My Personal “Aha!” Moment: The Ghost of Careers Past

This book hit home for me because it forces you to look at why you have these beliefs. Muriel explains that our blockers often stem from past experiences that served us well at the time but are now holding us back.

For me, aspects of the Need to Not Make a Mistake and The Need to be Involved were the big ones. Earlier in my career, I faced some painful consequences when a project didn’t meet sky-high expectations. I developed a survival belief: Quality and attention to detail is paramount. Everything must be perfect.

In a junior role, that belief served me well. As a leader? It can definitely be a bottleneck. When you try to apply “perfection” to all aspects of work, it can hinder your ability to move fast and can take up precious energy. You become the person holding up the project because you’re still agonizing over the phrasing of a bullet point on slide 14.

How to Know if You’re Blocked

Muriel suggests looking for two types of signs:

Internal Signs: You feel perpetually frustrated, mentally exhausted, or like you’re “faking it” despite your title.

External Signs: You’re blindsided by a mediocre performance review, or you’re so bogged down in tactics that you have zero capacity for strategic thinking.

The DIY Coach: Moving Forward

Muriel gives you a toolkit to coach yourself. Throughout the book, she provides real-world case studies of executives who have overcome these exact blockers.  She also includes a simple “coach yourself worksheet” as part of the supplemental resources.

Practical Takeaway: The “So What?”

If you feel like you’re hitting a ceiling, try this exercise today: Identify one recurring frustration. Ask yourself: “Is this a situation I truly can’t control, or is there a belief I’m holding (like ‘If I can do it, they should too’) that is making this harder than it needs to be?”

Leadership Unblocked is for the leader who is tired of the “hustle harder” mantra and wants to understand the psychology of their own progress. It’s practical, it’s empathetic, and it provides the mirror you need to see your own blind spots clearly. More importantly, this book offers the clarity you need to break free from the hidden beliefs that no longer serve you, allowing you to finally realize your full leadership potential.

Thanks for reading and sharing. xx