No More Fake News: How to Stop the Stories Hijacking Your Confidence at Work

Ever walked into a meeting with a voice in your head suggesting you don’t belong? It feels convincing, but it’s rarely grounded in fact. More often, it’s your brain filling in uncertainty with a story that skipped basic fact-checking. In this post, I share a simple three-step reframe to interrupt the pattern and replace it with something more useful so you can show up with more clarity and confidence.

I recently wrapped up a 10-week advanced communication beta program called Own the Room, offered by a career coach I worked with years ago. When the opportunity came up, I decided to join because it offered a chance to sharpen my communication style, pick up some new techniques, and connect with new people.

The program focused on several areas of communication: cutting through conflict, managing up, and handling even the most challenging personalities with clarity and authority. Not all of the concepts were brand new to me, but sometimes the best value is in the refresh…the reminder to actually apply what you know.

This is the first in a short series where I’ll share the concepts I found most valuable to bring back into everyday work life. And we’re starting with a good one that can creep into busy, intense work lives: the stories we tell ourselves.

Your Brain Is Filing a False Report

Here’s a scenario that might feel familiar. You’re about to walk into a high-stakes meeting. Maybe an executive presentation, a tough project review, a conversation you’ve been dreading, and a voice in your head quietly says: “They’re going to think you don’t belong here.”

When we feel uncertain or threatened at work, our brains rush to fill the gap. And what they fill it with is usually a story, one we’ve constructed from scraps of anxiety, old narratives, and assumptions. Sometimes it’s a story about ourselves: I’m an imposter. I’m not good enough. Sometimes it’s a story about someone else: He doesn’t like me. She thinks I’m incompetent. Either way, if you pause long enough to actually look at it, most of the time the story has little to no basis in fact. And even when there’s a grain of truth in it, ask yourself: is looping on this actually helping me right now?

Most of the time, the answer is no.

Your brain means well. It’s just a bit of an overdramatic storyteller.

Call It What It Is

The first step is simply naming it. When you notice yourself spinning, get curious instead of critical: “What fake news am I making up in my head right now?” That one question creates just enough distance to interrupt the pattern. It’s not toxic positivity. It’s discernment. The ability to notice when an unhelpful story is running the show and ask whether it’s worth the airtime.

(There’s a funny line that came up in the training: “You can be right, or you can be married.” The point being…sometimes the need to be right becomes its own trap. Know when the battle is worth fighting and when it’s just a very passionate argument about whose idea the bad project plan was.)

The Reframe: Three Steps to Flip the Script

This sounds overly simple, but it’s everything. When we’re triggered, the stress response kicks in fast (fight, flight, freeze). Your emotional brain takes over…the important part that makes good decisions, recalls information, and helps you show up with presence, goes temporarily offline. Here’s what to do when that happens:

1. Pause: Even just a breath, interrupts that emotional response cycle and creates the space to do something different.
2. Name the story. In that pause, ask: what am I actually telling myself right now? Get honest about the narrative. Is it true? Is it helpful?
3. Build your power phrase. To bring yourself back to a helpful mindset, create a short statement that’s grounded in your actual strengths that you can call on when the fake news starts playing. Not a generic affirmation, but something that’s genuinely true for you. Some examples from the training: “The credibility I’ve built is valuable.” “I’m confident in my experience.” “I know what to do, keep going.” It was also suggested to start your phrase with a reset word like breathe, stop, stay calm. That short beat before the power phrase can be a helpful reminder. It’s what keeps you from sliding right back into the reactive pattern.

Three Ways to Put It to Work

Once you have your phrase, here’s how to use it:

Before: Use it as a mental upgrade before you walk into anything high-stakes. Swap out the old operating system mentality “they might think I’m an imposter” in exchange for the upgraded one: “the credibility I’ve built is valuable.” You’ll walk in differently.

During: When something blindsides you mid-conversation and you feel yourself starting to spiral, your phrase can serve as a handy reminder to get you back in a stronger mental space.

After: We’ve all had weeks where we get to Friday, and slowly realize we’ve been triggered since Monday morning’s fire drill or bad meeting. Instead of ruminating, use your phrase to reset. Return to what’s true and get yourself recentered before the loop takes hold. The key is to not let false narratives build up over time.

One Last Thing

In the training, it was emphasized to be patient with yourself. Consider this a muscle to build, not a switch you can simply turn on. You’ll forget to use it. You’ll catch yourself mid-rumination and think “oh right, fake news.” That’s the process. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s building the awareness over time so the pause comes a little faster, the story loses its grip a little sooner, and you walk into the hard moments with a little more of yourself intact.

If the negative committee tries to tag along to your next big meeting… feel free to remind them it’s a pretty exclusive invite list.

(And somehow, they didn’t make the cut.)😉

If you have other tips that have worked well for you, please share!

Thanks for reading and sharing! xx